Strawberry Letter: I Married My Brother

Date: 08/28/2008
Subject: I Married My Brother

Good Morning Steve and the Morning show family, I actually do not know where to start with my letter. I guess I will start will saying I have been in tears everyday for the last 4 months. I guess I will also start by giving you a little history. First of all, my husband and I have been married for almost 2 years. We met in college when I was a freshman and he was a junior. When we met, we realized we had a lot in common. We both grew up in the same city just on different sides of town. So we didn't know each other.We were raised by strong single black women that made sure we had the best, we were raised in the church, and we both wanted to get legal degrees. We got married shortly after I graduated college and we relocated to Chicago in hopes of attending law school. When we got to Chicago, I became a nurse instead and my husband got a position at a legal firm (long story short, we didn't make it to law school). We both are devout Christians and we have been for most of our life. We decided that in order to really move foward in our spiritual life, that we needed to forgive all the people we had problems with includeing our fathers. We didn't realize how much that unforgiveness impacted our own lives. I made it a point to forgive my father in my heart because I knew it would be difficult to find him. My husband, however, got in touch with his father and made arrangements to meet up with him when we went home for our family reunion. They decided to meet up at the park where the reunion was to be held because they felt that was a neutral spot. We went home for the family reunion in May.. To my surprise, my father was there. Even though I hadn't seen him in almost 16 yrs, I knew it was him. I remembered the goal me and my husband had set for ourselves so I agreed to go somewhere and talk with him as long as we remained in the park. After about 45 minutes of catching up, I finally asked him what he was doing at the park on that day of all days. He mentioned that he was there to meet someone special in his life. I figured it was probably just another women. Just then, my husband walked up and said, I see you met my father. At that point, I did pass out (literally). I woke up in the hospital a couple of hours later. After a week, my husband went back to Chicago. I remained in our hometown with my mother. I was not ready to face all the issues on my plate and I couldn't just go back to Chicago with my husband/brother. After 3 mons, I am absolutely confused about what to do. Even though we have only been married for 2 years, we have been together for almost 5. I can't imagine my life without him. However, I get sick to my stomach when I think about the fact that I have been sleeping with my brother for so long. I know deep down it isn't really our fault. I mean we did everything right. I know the obvious thing to do is divorce him. But that is easier said than done. I am not torn between divorce and my religious beliefs because we got married under false pretenses. My problem is, I am torn between doing the obvious thing and dealing with all these emotions at the same time. Please tell me what to do. I don't think I have anymore tears left to cry.